dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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