found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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