What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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