you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
