when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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