Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
