i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
