Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
