Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My life is pants optional.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
