she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
