Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
