were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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