You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
