I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
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i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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