just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
