And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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