I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
