you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize