If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
