My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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