We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
