Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
