the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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