after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
