Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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