Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
