Midget sex pt 2 tonight
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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