i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
