This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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