There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
