I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
