Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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