Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
