We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
