I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
