Your tits are I can't wait for
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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