talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These tits shall not be calmed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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