i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
