what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you would pick up someone in the library
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
do nipples grow back?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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