This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
