I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
