do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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