so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
