Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He is an equal opportunity slut.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
