I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
