drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
