smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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