My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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