If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
