My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
