Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just had sex on a roof
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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