I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
