and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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