They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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