I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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