absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
