how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
