On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
