I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
