I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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